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Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced
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TOPIC: Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced
Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 4 Years ago Karma: 0  
I have been a member of the Catholic Church since birth. I married my husband 25 years ago and have not received Euchrist since. I always understood that it was against the Church because he had not annuled his first marrage. We went to the program at our church and when we came home he said he would not go through with it because he did not want his ex wife contacted and his adult children upset. I can understand that because we have raised our two children in the Catholic School system, and one is now attending a Catholic College. Is there any way that I can receive Euchurist without him annuling his prior marrage, which happened over 35 years ago? I am now 50, and feel that I need to get back to receiving the sacrament. I am feeling that it is unfair that I am punished in this way. I know I married him, and I know that it was my decision. I do not feel that God ment for his people to not receive the sacrament. I look up the street and see a Methodist church just a block away and wonder if I would be better accepted in their faith. I am really not sure where I fit.
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Re:Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 4 Years ago Karma: 2  
Dear Diane, my ex and his new wife are both receiving the Eucharist with an annulment that was denied because they are living as BROTHER AND SISTER, with no physical intimacy or relations. I do not know what this entails and how this is possible, or if you can be totally man and wife in every other sense but sex. It is difficult for me and my children to accept but I tell them we are not to judge, but just accept and offer our pain and confusion to our Lord so He can bring good from it and help us to carry this burden. You have to go thru the tribunal I believe, but again I don't really know. Why not have a serious conversation with your priest and ask him. I'm sure he will be able to explain it and guide you. God bless. ♥
mitzie ()
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Re:Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 4 Years ago Karma: 0  
I have talked with several priests and they all say the same thing, we have to go through an annulment. But thanks anyway. I just hoped that someone would have a solution.
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Re:Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 3 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: -1  
Diana, I also joined this board hoping to get answers about our Catholic faith. Unfortunately I continue to run into the same old answer. What bothers me the most is that now the Catholic Church is running commercials basically begging former Catholics to come back. Unfortunately, what I am finding out is that the church still has the same antiquated ideals that they have always had. I have attempted to talk to a couple of priests regarding remewing our faith (my second wife and I both married)they always say "annulment" is the way. Funny thing is the real truth is they only want money. That's right, money. Of course they will deny it, just like they deny everything else when confronted with the actual truth. The church likes to say it is chaste and truthful, yet the priests, who are supposed to be celibate, continue to sexually abuse their young parishioners and the church just moves them to a new parish, lets them continue to take the sacriments and continue the abuse in a new parish. I have now given up on the Catholic Church and this website itself is another example of the fact they need money. Every page has a donation tag, every page is trying to sell you books, cds, dvds and any other fundraising scam they can come up with. Perhaps you should go to the Church of the Most Blessed Sacrement in Alabama or come here to South Bend and go into the Basillica. Gold isn't only on the Golden Dome. It is flaunted everywhere in both. Extravagant gold, jewels and other valuables. Perhaps they should pawn some of it, I hear gold is over $500 per ounce now. They are sitting on a Gold Mine!

I also find it odd how after growing up Catholic, attending a Catholic school from Kindergarden to Senior year of high school I was always told GOD would forgive all sins with absolution if you would only ask for his forgiveness. Now mind you we aren't talking about the Saturday night K of C binge drinkers who were still hungover Sunday while passing around the plate. We're talking about any of the broken 10 Commandments. Of course you had to attend Confession to ask for forgiveness, which you don't even seem to have to do anymore unless you want to.

While I'm on my tangent, everything I read coming onto this website was quoting disciples and other books of the bible and the last time I checked everything they wrote was supject to interpretation. Every word. Many different interpretations. Many different versions of the bible. Where exactly does it say when God supposedly spoke all these words to all these different people. Were they really so special. I love my God, don't get me wrong, I just can no longer follow the flawwed phylisophical piety of a few men, Bishops and Popes, who are honestly self appointed leaders of a dying church. They just don't understand that there are many other churches out in the real world who would gladly accept new parishioners if they come in to pray. Sure I can go to Church, but can't accept the Sacrement, because some old man who has been a priest almost 60 years says I need an annulment. What they continue to fail to understand is that this world changes. Beliefs change, just like the interpretations of the bible change everytime someone else prints it. Women can't celibrate mass, but they can now give the Sacrement, read Homilies, and do trivial things in Mass. And we say Muslims are out of the loop. Reality is the reason people are fleeing the Catholic Church is because the Catholic Church is pushing them away. If I cannot recieve the Sacrement in a Catholic Church, but can recieve it in the Methodist Church, guess where I'm going to go. It's not like the Methodist religion is Satanic after all, the most important thing to my peace of mind is that they are Christian, just like me and you. While I want to be a Catholic, I don't have to be a Catholic to get into heaven. All I have to do is be a true Christian, ask for forgiveness, lead a good Christian life and I will be in the same heaven as all the beer drinking, womanizing, cheating, sodomizing good Catholics think they are going to. Remember something extremly important. Jesus was called and labeled INRI, which means King of the Jews. And they Killed him. Doesn't it ever strike any GOOD CATHOLICS odd that Jesus was a Jew yet only the Catholic religion is the way to heaven. Why did God tell Moses to lead his people to freedom (ISRAEL) and they would forever be protected. He called them, the Jews, his people. Not the Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Methodist, Baptists, Jehovah Witnesses, Evangelicals, or any other religious group. I am sure of one thing, I will always believe that there is a God, and he is merciful, and just. My marriage to my ex was a young mans' mistake. I shouldn't have to be punished for my sins forever. That is what prayer and God are for. Not to see how much money they can bleed out of us, not so we can go ask our exes for an annulment, only to be laughed at, and told no way. Not so I have to live the rest of my life like some priests, chaste and pure. Another irony is that priests used to be allowed to be married. There were even 39 Popes who were married throughout history. Talk about Sacriligious and deceitful. YES, the Catholic Church doesn't want you to know that, and a few even got divorced. Blasphemy, I know. Guess what, they not only continued to be Pope, say Mass, recieve the Sacrements, including Communion and Last Rites. Nothing like a little double standard. But I doubt you will see this because the moderator will probably block me. Just feel good about knowing that you may never be able to be able to be a Practicing Catholic again, but you can still be a good Christian, and get to heaven. You will just need to open your mind and heart, find a new church that will accept you for all your faults with open arms and minds. Good luck with your religion, and life. May God Bless and watch over you. Just know, you are never alone, God is always watching over you, no matter what Christian Church you attend. Just believe!
jasrmcg ()
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Re:Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 3 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 0  
The Catholic Church has been around for centuries- god from god, light from light. It has stood the test of time because it has the guidance of the Holy Spirit with Christ as its head, and has not changed with this world.

A person of this world, rather than of God, may think individually, that "if they cannot receive the Sacrament"then they're going somewhere else or think the minimum is all that Christ expects of us in this life, "be a true Christian, ask for forgiveness, lead a good Christian life", or even even follow the logic of hedonism, and avoid anything that requires an exercise of your discipline such as following canon law and getting an annulment or confessing your sins to a priest or respecting the authority entrusted to our priests by Christ and His Church.

It is disheartening that you seem to resent tradition and orthodoxy and seemingly everything the Catholic Church stands for. Remember catholic means universal, and Christ founded the Catholic Church so that many might be saved. The Catholic Church is the most accepting of all walks of life. It is when people project their feelings and misjudgements/misconceptions on the Church when problems and resentment arise. There is more than one path to salvation, but the path Christ intended us to follow goes through the Catholic Church. Yes, Jesus was a Jew and they were His chosen people, but as Jesus preached and began His mission, He said, "follow me," and the apostles and his disciples did follow Him, and thus began the traditions of what we now practice in the Catholic Church. Lastly, a simple belief in Christ might get you to heaven-if it could be earned- but knowing the truth and choosing not to follow it, is grave. Its like if Christ said, this is how I want it to be, and you looked at it, stuck up your nose, and walked away.

Salvation isn't once saved always saved. Christ had his passion and death, just as we are to "work out our salvation with pain and trembling". Change your habits to change your life and harden not your heart. Like the refiners fire, the sun shines down on the clay, not that it may scorched by the intense heat day in and day out, but that it might be reshaped and configured more closely to its maker.

Try looking at the Church not so much of an institution composed of flawed and broken people, because you will encounter that regardless of where you choose to worship. Christ has offered you everything you could possibly need in this life and a means of attaining it in the Catholic Church. Praised be Jesus Christ for this institution and its shepherds.
k-chan ()
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Re:Receiving Communion Married to man who divorced 3 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 19  

I'm sorry you have such a bad taste in your mouth for the Catholic Church. I know a lot of Catholics like yourself, and while I do understand the cynicism, I believe it is because there is a lot of misunderstanding about the why's of the teachings of the faith. When there is a lack of understanding, often people mistakenly chalk it up to greedy, power-hungry politicking on the part of those in authority within the church.

The idea of an annulment really gets some peoples' backs up because they don't want to relive the past and admit to their mistakes, which is understandable, but it is this very revisiting of our past and acknowledging our wrongs that liberates us, and I don't mean freeing us up to marry someone else; humility allows us to invite God into our hearts and grow in relationship with Him. Part of humility in this case means obedience to the church's teachings on such matters, which are directly based on Christ's teachings. It really is a healing process. I've said that time and again on this forum, but I went into it myself with more of a trusting attitude. I believed that the church has compassion for me and wanted to help me move forward from my past transgressions, and even learn to be gentler on myself so that I could truly grow.

This is an excerpt from an article, "The Permanence of Matrimony". To view the entire article, click on this link: www.catholic.com/tracts/the-permanence-of-matrimony

[When Jesus came, he elevated matrimony to the same status it had originally possessed between Adam and Eve—the status of a sacrament. Thus, any valid marriage between two baptized people is a sacramental marriage and, once consummated, cannot be dissolved. Jesus, therefore, taught that if anyone so married divorces and remarries, that person is living in perpetual adultery, a state of mortal sin.

He said, "Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery" (Luke 16:18; cf. Mark 10:11–12).

Paul was equally insistent on this fact, declaring, "Thus a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he lives. . . . Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive" (Rom. 7:2–3).

This applied, of course, only to sacramental marriages—those between baptized people. For marriages involving an unbaptized party, a different rule applied (1 Cor. 7:12–15).]

BTW, there are some archdiocese that will allow people to go through the process without paying if they do not have the means to do so. It really isn't all about the money, but the process does require having to pay canon law lawyers to defend the marital bond, and to plea in cause of annulment (an invalid sacramental marriage), along with other costs (paying the transcriber and other staff, overhead costs etc). It is an extensive process that takes time for good reason because it is something that must be treated carefully and seriously; it isn't a money-grab.

There is no doubt that the Catholic Church has a colorful history; indeed, there were many corrupt popes, nepotism, scandals, sexual immorality and whatever else that happened over the course of her history. However, one thing has never changed: the deposit of Faith. In over 2000 years, doctrine has not changed per se. Things have evolved, or truths have been refined or made more clear perhaps, but to say that things have outright changed based on interpretation is false. Christ said to Peter, "Upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it". There have been popes who have tried to change doctrine to suit their agendas, but despite themselves were unable to do so. The reason being is the Holy Spirit would not allow it. Our faith is not simply based on "interpretation". It is also based on Tradition (oral as well as Sacred Scripture) and on Inspiration (understanding of Christ's teachings by Doctors of the Faith through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, for example).

In the Sacrament of Penance, we receive grace, as we do in Holy Communion. It isn't enough that we simply pray and ask God for forgiveness. We need penance. Christ appointed His apostles to act in His place. A priest is, "in persona Christi", acting in the person of Christ, giving Christ's forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He guides us, gives advice to help us in our struggles to overcome our habits of sin. This is very powerful, and not to be seen as a means of lording power or authority over us. Again, it is through humbling ourselves that we grow. Praying and acknowledging our sins to God privately won't have the same impact or affect on our souls. Christ established this sacrament on the day of His resurrection when He gave His apostles the power to remit sin. The church didn't assume this authority. It was given by Christ Himself. He didn't say it's enough to pray and say a personal "sorry" to Him to make up for our wrongs.

What I love about our Catholic faith is that it is a church that genuinely cares and holds us to account. Sure, I could go to another Christian denomination and have warm, feel-good feelings of being welcomed, and I might feel accepted in all my flaws, but will I get the same, unequivocal clarity of right and wrong as I do within the Catholic Church? I can't speak for others, but personally, I need the authority of the church to help keep me in line, I need things to be crystal clear and in order for me to TRUST the church, I need her to be unwavering in her teachings, which she always has been and will continue to be in the face of this moral relativistic world. I need to be made to feel uncomfortable when I am off the mark; that's the sign that my conscience is well-formed and working. I am like a child in need of a consistent, predicable parent; I need solid, clear boundaries, and I need to know that when I test them or cross the line, that there will always be a way for me to come back, but that I will not be enabled when I do something wrong and I will feel the natural consequences of my mistakes in order to steer me back on the right track.

Christ didn't abandon us and leave us to our own devices. He left us the one, holy, CATHOLIC and apostolic church. I, for one, am grateful that I was baptized into it.
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